Monday, February 1, 2010

Almost Murdered

Imagine walking slowly on a dock, looking at the calm lake in front of you. Then there is a pause… SPLASH you dive in to the cold water so fluently. The water is rushing up your body. It refreshes your whole body and you just want to keep swimming.

Well, my name is Mary and I swim for three and a half hours every morning. I am a very good swimmer. I am practicing for the National Olympic League because I am the best female swimmer in the Untied States. I thought to myself, if I am the best in the United States why not participate in the National Olympic League.

I am very nervous about this event. It is in a couple of months. I just want to be the best in the United States. I want to be the one who is holding the metal. I want to be the one who smiles in front of the whole world.

I was just thinking to myself… will I win? Will I get the metal? Will I faint in front of the world when I give my little speech? Will my mom and step dad be proud of me? Well I know that my mom will be proud of me even if I get last place. She is always proud of me. My step dad on the other hand, he expects me to be the best always.
My mom is a secretary and my step dad is a carpenter. My real dad left my mom when I was 4 years old. My mom got remarried and that’s why I have a step dad. I don’t’ really like my step dad because my step dad is bipolar and he sometimes takes his anger out at me, physically. My mom tries to deal with him but one of these days I think that she is going to lose it and leave him. They have been married for sixteen years. They say that they love each other, but do they really mean it? They will say “I love you” but then they argue. They always get into fights.

Well now let’s talk about me, I am seventeen. I don’t know if I will ever get to leave my house because my parents are very protective. It feels like I have been trapped in a cage for hundreds of years because my parents never let me go any where. I have one dog name Lily and I care about her so much. I have a job and a car. As long as you got a car, you got it all. You can go where ever you want but with me I usually have to stay at my house or go to work. I work at Waffles. When I go to college, I want to be a professional swimmer. Swimming is my life.
One day I came to my step dads work to drop off his lunch because he forgot to grab it at the house. My dad said,

“You should stay, you never spend time with me, this would be a great opportunity” I thought to my self why would I want to be by a person who just abuses me but I didn’t say that I said “sure why not” because I wanted to get on his good side. He said,

“Okay let’s go but before we go let me see if it is all right to bring another person” moments later

“Okay its fine, let’s go.” So I got in the truck and we were on our way. It was 53 miles away. I was paying attention where we were going just in case we got lost. My step dad pulled up to a gas station and got gas then left. We finally arrived. We pulled up to this creepy old broken down house. It was a dirty white house with vines going up from the side. I was scared to knock at the door but I did it any ways. While I was knocking at the door my step dad was getting supplies form the back of his truck. Someone finally answered the door. It was a buff man, who answers the door,

“You must be the carpenter’s daughter”, In a low deep voice. I answered “Step daughter.” He looked in my eyes and said to me
“Come on in.” I walked in slowly. He slammed the door and locked it. I didn’t understand. I said to him

“What’s going on my step dad is support to come in.”

“SILECE!!!” He yelled and grabbed arm. Once my step dad herd that slam he dropped all of his supplies and sprinted to the door. He was struggling with a panic. My step dad kept trying and trying. Then he thought of another idea. He ran to the back door and slammed opened the door with adrenalin running through his body. I really didn’t think that he would care that much about me. He said,

“Come on lets go.” I was struggling to get away from this messed up man. He wanted to go up the stares but I tried and tried to get away. I finally got away. I ran to the front door. Stupid me I forgot it was locked so I was running for my life to the back. The man ran after me trying catching my footsteps. My step dad yells come on come on lets go. I tripped and fell on the floor. My step dad ran toward me, but the man was on his way with a knife. The man punched my step dad and was trying to go after me, with the knife. As my step dad got up he continued to fight. As he was fight he dropped his car keys. I grabbed them. I ran outside saying to my step dad come on let’s go. My step dad was getting stabbed. He fell to the ground, laying on the floor bleeding. My whole body sunk to the ground. I cried, get up get up. My step dad looked in my eye hopelessly and said,

“I am so sorry I should have never brought you here It’s my fault… I will always love you and your mother forever.” I said,

“I love you too…” as tears flowed down my eyes like a river. Then I ran out the door and got in my step dad’s truck. I locked the door and drove off. I remembered where the gas station was because my dad got gas. I was going 84 miles down the road. I finally got there. I ran in freaking out. I was yelling, screaming crying everything you can imagine. I was explaining the story really really fast. The cashier said “Slow down! slow down! What happened?” after about three minutes I explained with some huffing and puffing. So right away she called the cops. About 14 cop cars came. They said

“Lead the way, you can go any speed you want but be careful.” So I did. The cops slammed down the door like it was a piñata. The man came out in hand cuffs with a grumpy mad face. They arrested the man. He was put in jail for sixty seven year for second degree murder. I was happy about that but the bad news was that my step dad was dead…

Four days later… I went to his finally. I was a very depressing day. I will always remember when he said I love you and your mother. That meant something special to me, in fact that meant a lot to me. I will really miss him.

Five months later… It is time for the big race, For the National Olympic League. The man said on your mark, get set, and GO. The man shot up in the air with a gun. My mom was cheering me on, “come on Mary come on you can do.”
And that’s exactly what I did. I did it!!! I won. I was holding up the metal above my head smiling proud. I wish that my step dad could have been here. I am sure that my mom will move on with her life and will get a new husband, but I am also sure that she will be thinking about my other step dad too.

2 comments:

  1. A comedy? Yes, normalcy, conflict with the step-dad, resolution...but who knew a comedy could be so creepy?
    One logic flaw to fix: Step-dad and Mom cannot be married for 16 years if Dad left when the girl was ten years old.

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  2. The story was really good. I liked how the story really flowed, it didn't just jump all over the place. You may want to fix how old she is beacuse it doesn't make sence if her dad left when she was 10 and her mom and step dad have been together for 16 years. Also I liked how the step dad really did care for her in the end. There was only a little bit of spelling or grammer issues. Other wise it was great!

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